Mmm this is giving big "Everything Everywhere All At Once" energy. The idea that there really are multiple 'us's' that we COULD become if we follow a thread. And the fact that in reality a yes to anything is always a NO to literally everything else - and how mind blowing it is to consider all the different versions of us we could have be…
Mmm this is giving big "Everything Everywhere All At Once" energy. The idea that there really are multiple 'us's' that we COULD become if we follow a thread. And the fact that in reality a yes to anything is always a NO to literally everything else - and how mind blowing it is to consider all the different versions of us we could have become if we'd followed a different yes at any point in time.
It also lends itself to the idea that there isn't a cohesive "self" to any of us, rather a collection of incomplete "selves" that when put altogether create what we refer to as the "self". I often feel like there are many mini-me's inside (not Dr Evil style but you get it) with an "observer" who's really more the inner parent/ring leader trying to lead all those bits in a semi-cohesive direction.
And you're right - that cohesive direction is fucking hard because of all the lost potentials. It seems no matter what chosen there's always going to be a part that longs for something else. There's always going to be that 'ehat if' factor to life. And the challenge is to LET yourself choose a direction and to commit to it and dealing with the inevitable FOMO. Without letting that FOMO mean you have a million unfinished paths. Where nothing gets to be fully embodied or experienced because the other options are always looming or because we really are over committing.
The reality of limited time, energy and resource is a pretty crushing blow a lot of the time.
For me, I generally like to pet myself FULLY go there with all of my selves. Meaning when I get to that place where it feels like I'm living in a way that does feel too scattered and like I'm not really doing/living anything because I'm trying to do everything - I pause and follow each thread all the way through. I let myself dream the big dream of what it would be like to give each thread a full yes - and I get really serious in considering if the EFFORT of that path is actually worth the outcome for me. That's when I usually find the clarity on where I actually want to go. Not in the dream fulfilled pulling me, but in the reality of the path actually being a path I want to live. Then I see how many of the "worth it" paths I CAN string together and I consider how many paths can be done LATER - Knowing I DO have time for many paths - just not all at the same time.
Being human is so odd. To have all these parts - it makes you feel almost like free will isn't a thing and maybe we'll discover one day that we're actually just being controlled by various micro organisms or something.
But clarity comes when I consider effort vs. dream. That's when I usually know what yes is worth all the other no's.
I also love what Eva said - I also feel like I've had to let SO many versions of myself go. Just not having the time, energy, spoons or capacity. And that's always sad. Grieving the loss of my many selves as I choose the ones I CAN do - it's hard.
Hi Aliyah, yes, you’ve described well that constant process of saying yes to something, and, at the same time, saying no to many others. I love the idea of taking time to sit down and walk myself down the many potential paths to see which I’m most willing to invest in - in terms of effort and time.
Mmm this is giving big "Everything Everywhere All At Once" energy. The idea that there really are multiple 'us's' that we COULD become if we follow a thread. And the fact that in reality a yes to anything is always a NO to literally everything else - and how mind blowing it is to consider all the different versions of us we could have become if we'd followed a different yes at any point in time.
It also lends itself to the idea that there isn't a cohesive "self" to any of us, rather a collection of incomplete "selves" that when put altogether create what we refer to as the "self". I often feel like there are many mini-me's inside (not Dr Evil style but you get it) with an "observer" who's really more the inner parent/ring leader trying to lead all those bits in a semi-cohesive direction.
And you're right - that cohesive direction is fucking hard because of all the lost potentials. It seems no matter what chosen there's always going to be a part that longs for something else. There's always going to be that 'ehat if' factor to life. And the challenge is to LET yourself choose a direction and to commit to it and dealing with the inevitable FOMO. Without letting that FOMO mean you have a million unfinished paths. Where nothing gets to be fully embodied or experienced because the other options are always looming or because we really are over committing.
The reality of limited time, energy and resource is a pretty crushing blow a lot of the time.
For me, I generally like to pet myself FULLY go there with all of my selves. Meaning when I get to that place where it feels like I'm living in a way that does feel too scattered and like I'm not really doing/living anything because I'm trying to do everything - I pause and follow each thread all the way through. I let myself dream the big dream of what it would be like to give each thread a full yes - and I get really serious in considering if the EFFORT of that path is actually worth the outcome for me. That's when I usually find the clarity on where I actually want to go. Not in the dream fulfilled pulling me, but in the reality of the path actually being a path I want to live. Then I see how many of the "worth it" paths I CAN string together and I consider how many paths can be done LATER - Knowing I DO have time for many paths - just not all at the same time.
Being human is so odd. To have all these parts - it makes you feel almost like free will isn't a thing and maybe we'll discover one day that we're actually just being controlled by various micro organisms or something.
But clarity comes when I consider effort vs. dream. That's when I usually know what yes is worth all the other no's.
I also love what Eva said - I also feel like I've had to let SO many versions of myself go. Just not having the time, energy, spoons or capacity. And that's always sad. Grieving the loss of my many selves as I choose the ones I CAN do - it's hard.
Letting go. Holy shit. It's huge. xoxoxox
Hi Aliyah, yes, you’ve described well that constant process of saying yes to something, and, at the same time, saying no to many others. I love the idea of taking time to sit down and walk myself down the many potential paths to see which I’m most willing to invest in - in terms of effort and time.