I'm (only) navigating three things right now: a complete financial reset including change of home, supporting my partner''s recovery from a series of small strokes two weeks ago, and the resonant arrival of the knowledge that what comes next for me is to stand and face what making "the numbers" work has displaced for decades: the resonance within.
I am a resonance machine. I sing, I write, I communicate for a living -- helping others feel the note that thrums through, delivering their voice beyond the roar.
Before now, I seem to have thought my integrity turned on keeping commitments to external forces, taming my resonance to reduce conflict with culture so I could find some peace with it.
Now I find that integrity is walking out onto my Note, over thin air. An image I've had in my mind for years. Borne on my own true nature, as a couple of wise women suggest. If I'm on my Note, gravity fails. It's all lift. Plus a few epic cartwheels and backflips.
The breadth of logistics that support my Note are where I connect with the list concept. They are mind boggling. Beyond comprehension. The organizing skills the far left side of my brain spools out delight the heck out of me, now that I see them. The worried child that created them finds comfort there - thank god. Keeping those two muscles from crushing the tone is the trick -- and seems to be largely a matter of respect.
The three (tectonic) things occurring right now are of the highest order. (Well, dang. I have been -consciously - inviting the highest to occur.) If I lead with my Note, supported by the (by now Olympic level) left brain gymnastics, lifted by the fact of weightlessness (aka enlightenment?) to (my mind's eye view of) utter freedom, well... the improv continues.
I ask the Divine to guide this whole, merry, improv troupe.
Life is full on. And I think we can sometimes forget that. We take on things, one at a time, while also having those 'adult' obligations simply be part of the package - and each individually they are all parts of life we WANT.
But when taken together the overwhelm factor is REAL. Especially as you state here, when you have children/illness to content with.
Wanting to show up for ALL of it often times looks like feeling like we aren't able to really show up for any of it - rather we live that check-list life, doing those things that MUST be done, doing the things we WANT to do, and trying to add in those high level connection and creativity based tasks can sometimes feel like an impossible mountain to climb.
Life seems to have a tendency to accumulate. This was one thing I noticed early on in my adulthood. Life accumulates and if you're not careful, you end up in 'life maintenance' mode - where it feels like you're just spinning on that wheel, day after day, not getting anywhere but not being able to stop because if you stop, you move backwards.
This is why I think that lifestyle minimalism is so key to creation. There has to be ROOM for it, and a full life - with that BREDTH of tasks - it's incredibly challenging.
For myself, I've had to learn that in order to have the space, I have to be constantly on top of the accumulation, and I always have to weigh what I'm saying yes to in terms of things I CAN control against what that will mean for the creative time I NEED. Having to say no to things I want but know I don't have the bandwidth for is always tough. Then again there are those things we can't control, AND those things that society expects of us to have/take on that we sort of have to 'de program' ourselves enough to be able to say no to.
It's a lot.
The accumulation inertia factor is strong in this reality, and fighting it to make room for the spark of life that is creation - it's a tricky balance.
Ro! My list can topple over me if I am not careful. THEN my creative brain takes me down....into stories, not good ones. So I have been trying to keep life simpler and slower. Seems to work better for the kids too. The list can never get too long if I don't put too many things on it. If I tried to do work all while driving and going to a doctors appointment I would short circut! The idea of doing all that is too much!
Im pulling myself back up from a rough overstimulating and overwhelming weekend, also being sick and I don't have room for much more than simple right now. So simple it is.
The push and pull between being and mom and our creative desires can be physically felt. I hear you. I am so on this journey with you. <3
I'm (only) navigating three things right now: a complete financial reset including change of home, supporting my partner''s recovery from a series of small strokes two weeks ago, and the resonant arrival of the knowledge that what comes next for me is to stand and face what making "the numbers" work has displaced for decades: the resonance within.
I am a resonance machine. I sing, I write, I communicate for a living -- helping others feel the note that thrums through, delivering their voice beyond the roar.
Before now, I seem to have thought my integrity turned on keeping commitments to external forces, taming my resonance to reduce conflict with culture so I could find some peace with it.
Now I find that integrity is walking out onto my Note, over thin air. An image I've had in my mind for years. Borne on my own true nature, as a couple of wise women suggest. If I'm on my Note, gravity fails. It's all lift. Plus a few epic cartwheels and backflips.
The breadth of logistics that support my Note are where I connect with the list concept. They are mind boggling. Beyond comprehension. The organizing skills the far left side of my brain spools out delight the heck out of me, now that I see them. The worried child that created them finds comfort there - thank god. Keeping those two muscles from crushing the tone is the trick -- and seems to be largely a matter of respect.
The three (tectonic) things occurring right now are of the highest order. (Well, dang. I have been -consciously - inviting the highest to occur.) If I lead with my Note, supported by the (by now Olympic level) left brain gymnastics, lifted by the fact of weightlessness (aka enlightenment?) to (my mind's eye view of) utter freedom, well... the improv continues.
I ask the Divine to guide this whole, merry, improv troupe.
I can relate to "muscle it's way into a day crammed with minutae". Love the idea you've put forth of creating space for communion creativity.
SO TRUE.
Life is full on. And I think we can sometimes forget that. We take on things, one at a time, while also having those 'adult' obligations simply be part of the package - and each individually they are all parts of life we WANT.
But when taken together the overwhelm factor is REAL. Especially as you state here, when you have children/illness to content with.
Wanting to show up for ALL of it often times looks like feeling like we aren't able to really show up for any of it - rather we live that check-list life, doing those things that MUST be done, doing the things we WANT to do, and trying to add in those high level connection and creativity based tasks can sometimes feel like an impossible mountain to climb.
Life seems to have a tendency to accumulate. This was one thing I noticed early on in my adulthood. Life accumulates and if you're not careful, you end up in 'life maintenance' mode - where it feels like you're just spinning on that wheel, day after day, not getting anywhere but not being able to stop because if you stop, you move backwards.
This is why I think that lifestyle minimalism is so key to creation. There has to be ROOM for it, and a full life - with that BREDTH of tasks - it's incredibly challenging.
For myself, I've had to learn that in order to have the space, I have to be constantly on top of the accumulation, and I always have to weigh what I'm saying yes to in terms of things I CAN control against what that will mean for the creative time I NEED. Having to say no to things I want but know I don't have the bandwidth for is always tough. Then again there are those things we can't control, AND those things that society expects of us to have/take on that we sort of have to 'de program' ourselves enough to be able to say no to.
It's a lot.
The accumulation inertia factor is strong in this reality, and fighting it to make room for the spark of life that is creation - it's a tricky balance.
"Life seems to have a tendency to accumulate..." Love that. Reaches way beyond the material things. Great point.
Ro! My list can topple over me if I am not careful. THEN my creative brain takes me down....into stories, not good ones. So I have been trying to keep life simpler and slower. Seems to work better for the kids too. The list can never get too long if I don't put too many things on it. If I tried to do work all while driving and going to a doctors appointment I would short circut! The idea of doing all that is too much!
Im pulling myself back up from a rough overstimulating and overwhelming weekend, also being sick and I don't have room for much more than simple right now. So simple it is.
The push and pull between being and mom and our creative desires can be physically felt. I hear you. I am so on this journey with you. <3
Very excited for your new space with us.