These really *are* kind, and I appreciate that so much. I have read so many of these lists over the years and so often they err on the side of punishment (which is so odd, as we writers can be pretty damn sensitive and must be spoken to nicely, especially by ourselves).
Thank you Ro. I’m adding this to my list of “genuinely helpful lists” (Zadie Smith’s list is also on there, and I recommend giving that a Google). xo
Love these Rowan.. I just copied them for myself ;)
The last month or two have been an inventure into how to actually write and show up, without feeling the 'have to' so strongly that it completely blocks me. It's getting more and more clear for me. Especially that I really want two things to go together: finishing my book, and slowing down in life. Which when I zoomed in actually meant making more agreements with myself about showing up, but less about agreements to meet certain deadlines. Ah, though that can work for me too at times. It's a funny dance, and such fine lines between them..
I could have written this! I totally feel you—it’s a funny dance indeed. I always want everything to be perfectible, and almost every day I have to come to terms again with the impossibility of this idea. “Let’s do it all imperfectly,” as my personal bard Ani DiFranco once wrote.
I'm glad you wrote something, it was meaningful and I enjoyed reading it, but I'm glad because it seemed like writing something helped you take a little bit of pressure off yourself and allow you to feel good, like you said, and I want that for you. A little boost of firefly glow can go a long way and the ripple effect is meaningful. Glow on <3
Jan 25, 2023·edited Jan 25, 2023Liked by Rowan Mangan
Add me to the list of Rule 8 fans. And I'm so glad to see a list that includes (Rule 5) the kind of things I do before the thing. Finish my tea, read something (Wild Inventures)... No wonder races start with Ready, Set, Go!
This is so deeply profound :) As you say, so many of us tend to link 'rules' with harshness or a lack of kindness - when in reality in order to have a good feeling life, we DO need structure, we do need some discipline, we do need a framework by which to live our lives, as these things actually create the conditions for joy.
But balance is the key.
Too much discipline and we lose the understanding of why we're doing what we're doing. It becomes about 'doing it right' and we lose the plot on the actual outcomes we're going for. There can be a Puritan bend that takes over and we then obfuscate the actual point.
Not enough and we tend to lull into stagnation and chasing temporary highs or fixes - and this too is going to lead to a life where we never really experience what makes us humans truly come alive. Progress. Growth. Expansion. Expression.
It is an act of kindness to give ourselves a framework with which to work. It helps us avoid the decision fatigue that will come every day when we based what we're going to do purely on how we feel - as we know feelings wax and wane. Motivation never sticks. We need to have routines that keep us doing what we know is beneficial, otherwise we will find that we sink too much into base momentary distraction and away from fulfillment.
I love your writing rules. Mine are similar. Show up every day and do a little. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done.
Yayy! You’re back! We missed you! BTW your rule about sitting at a desk is out of reach for me... if I can’t write while supported by bed or armchair I won’t be getting much writing done. That’s not a criticism of your rules - you do you & whatever it takes to get the words out without breaking yourself - its just an observation. Wishing you well, thanks again.
Oh, how I love every bit of this! Only wish I’d read it earlier. I’ve been stalled by a bit of paralysis, afraid to even sit down at my desk. Going to do a bit of that today, because I totally agree: the glow is worth it!
Actually, I take that back. I’m delighted that I waited until this morning to read this post. It kicked my butt into gear, and I got all kinds of stuff done today! I just took a small step in, and the doors of willingness and vitality opened wide! Thank you! ❤️
Love these Rowan.. I just copied them for myself ;)
The last month or two have been an inventure into how to actually write and show up, without feeling the 'have to' so strongly that it completely blocks me. It's getting more and more clear for me. Especially that I really want two things to go together: finishing my book, and slowing down in life. Which when I zoomed in actually meant making more agreements with myself about showing up, but less about agreements to meet certain deadlines. Ah, though that can work for me too at times. It's a funny dance, and such fine lines between them..
Rowan, these are so, so good and greatly appreciated. Like every writer, I hate sitting down to write but looooove having written. (In the midst of writing I don't even seem to know I'm doing it, so I don't know if it's fun or painful.) I've often wondered why the culture has always taught writers and other artists that suffering is mandatory. Suffering is bound to happen anyway, so why must we pile on the self-loathing and self-destruction? I'm trying hard to reject all that, so the trick for me is how to actually get the writing done without the self-inflicted cruelty...Your rules are a welcome start!
I don’t know if I always enjoy writing, just like I don’t always enjoy breathing or walking to my local cafe for a coffee. Sometimes its wonderful, sometimes its a huge effort, sometimes its meh.
These really *are* kind, and I appreciate that so much. I have read so many of these lists over the years and so often they err on the side of punishment (which is so odd, as we writers can be pretty damn sensitive and must be spoken to nicely, especially by ourselves).
Thank you Ro. I’m adding this to my list of “genuinely helpful lists” (Zadie Smith’s list is also on there, and I recommend giving that a Google). xo
I Googled—and it’s gorgeous. Thank you. And I agree about the punishing standards writers often hold for ourselves and each other. Big love to you x
Rule #8 is the my new favorite thing. And I'm writing (!) a SFD, so *thank you*.
IT ALL COUNTS! <3
Love these Rowan.. I just copied them for myself ;)
The last month or two have been an inventure into how to actually write and show up, without feeling the 'have to' so strongly that it completely blocks me. It's getting more and more clear for me. Especially that I really want two things to go together: finishing my book, and slowing down in life. Which when I zoomed in actually meant making more agreements with myself about showing up, but less about agreements to meet certain deadlines. Ah, though that can work for me too at times. It's a funny dance, and such fine lines between them..
I could have written this! I totally feel you—it’s a funny dance indeed. I always want everything to be perfectible, and almost every day I have to come to terms again with the impossibility of this idea. “Let’s do it all imperfectly,” as my personal bard Ani DiFranco once wrote.
I'm glad you wrote something, it was meaningful and I enjoyed reading it, but I'm glad because it seemed like writing something helped you take a little bit of pressure off yourself and allow you to feel good, like you said, and I want that for you. A little boost of firefly glow can go a long way and the ripple effect is meaningful. Glow on <3
Oh, I love this idea of the ripple effect! Thank you, Gazit! (Look out for a Bewildered episode based on your question sometime soon.) x
#8 🙌 x
<3
Add me to the list of Rule 8 fans. And I'm so glad to see a list that includes (Rule 5) the kind of things I do before the thing. Finish my tea, read something (Wild Inventures)... No wonder races start with Ready, Set, Go!
I count all these as moving towards the target!!
Can you imagine if, out of nowhere, they just shouted at all the runners hanging out around the starting gates: "Go!" ? ;0)
This is so deeply profound :) As you say, so many of us tend to link 'rules' with harshness or a lack of kindness - when in reality in order to have a good feeling life, we DO need structure, we do need some discipline, we do need a framework by which to live our lives, as these things actually create the conditions for joy.
But balance is the key.
Too much discipline and we lose the understanding of why we're doing what we're doing. It becomes about 'doing it right' and we lose the plot on the actual outcomes we're going for. There can be a Puritan bend that takes over and we then obfuscate the actual point.
Not enough and we tend to lull into stagnation and chasing temporary highs or fixes - and this too is going to lead to a life where we never really experience what makes us humans truly come alive. Progress. Growth. Expansion. Expression.
It is an act of kindness to give ourselves a framework with which to work. It helps us avoid the decision fatigue that will come every day when we based what we're going to do purely on how we feel - as we know feelings wax and wane. Motivation never sticks. We need to have routines that keep us doing what we know is beneficial, otherwise we will find that we sink too much into base momentary distraction and away from fulfillment.
I love your writing rules. Mine are similar. Show up every day and do a little. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done.
Sending you so much love Ro <3
<3
Yes!!! Yes to everything. My old rules were either cultures or my own #1’s absolute refusal to accept that I am not a robot. Puritanical for sure.
AMEN
Yayy! You’re back! We missed you! BTW your rule about sitting at a desk is out of reach for me... if I can’t write while supported by bed or armchair I won’t be getting much writing done. That’s not a criticism of your rules - you do you & whatever it takes to get the words out without breaking yourself - its just an observation. Wishing you well, thanks again.
Love these Rowan! As a writer myself I can agree with them all😭
Oh, how I love every bit of this! Only wish I’d read it earlier. I’ve been stalled by a bit of paralysis, afraid to even sit down at my desk. Going to do a bit of that today, because I totally agree: the glow is worth it!
Actually, I take that back. I’m delighted that I waited until this morning to read this post. It kicked my butt into gear, and I got all kinds of stuff done today! I just took a small step in, and the doors of willingness and vitality opened wide! Thank you! ❤️
♥️
Sincerely curious, does the writing have to happen on a keyboard?
Omg no!!!! I do some of mine while driving in voice to text!
Oh good! I find it easier sometimes to write with a wonderful mechanical pencil than to get the computer out. .
Love these Rowan.. I just copied them for myself ;)
The last month or two have been an inventure into how to actually write and show up, without feeling the 'have to' so strongly that it completely blocks me. It's getting more and more clear for me. Especially that I really want two things to go together: finishing my book, and slowing down in life. Which when I zoomed in actually meant making more agreements with myself about showing up, but less about agreements to meet certain deadlines. Ah, though that can work for me too at times. It's a funny dance, and such fine lines between them..
11 ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you♥️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Rowan, these are so, so good and greatly appreciated. Like every writer, I hate sitting down to write but looooove having written. (In the midst of writing I don't even seem to know I'm doing it, so I don't know if it's fun or painful.) I've often wondered why the culture has always taught writers and other artists that suffering is mandatory. Suffering is bound to happen anyway, so why must we pile on the self-loathing and self-destruction? I'm trying hard to reject all that, so the trick for me is how to actually get the writing done without the self-inflicted cruelty...Your rules are a welcome start!
I don’t know if I always enjoy writing, just like I don’t always enjoy breathing or walking to my local cafe for a coffee. Sometimes its wonderful, sometimes its a huge effort, sometimes its meh.